I was finemaster and fine reporter this past Friday. I started off by asking everyone in the room whose first name contained a vowel to raise his or her hand. I then asked everyone in the room to keep his or her hand raised if the last last name contained a vowel. Almost the entire room had raised hands at $10 each.

Next, I recruited Richard Schulhof to assist me with a Rotarian version of “spin the bottle.” I divided the room into quadrants and Richard spun a salt shaker. The quadrant where the salt shaker pointed was “out.” We switched to a fork as there were some technical difficulties with the salt shaker. The quadrant where the fork landed was “out.” The quadrant remaining was fined $5 each. Bob Hoffman asked if we got to kiss someone at the end and I explained that his request was too personal for Rotary. Again, this was the Rotarian version and had to pass the Four Way Test.

Finally, I asked about local trips in the past two weeks. Dr. Hoey traveled to San Jose recently for a funeral. He was not fined and, instead, received heartfelt sympathy for his loss. In then asked about International trips and Terry Earll was quick to volunteer information about a three week cruise that he recently took with two other couples around Australia and the like. This cost him $70.